Fear God, Honor The King, Don’t Be A Nincompoop

Someone in my small town told me about a new Church that started up recently and it’s meeting at a local restaurant. They’d heard good things and I’m always interested in something alternative, so I went down there this evening to see if there might be a sign. There WAS! “God bless King Jimmy… Long Live the KING!” (Wait- isn’t he dead?) And don’t we get in trouble for… adding words to the Bible? But our name on the front cover would become… fundamental? 🤔

In fact, isn’t that a ticket straight to hell?? (Oh wait, King J knew hell didn’t exist cause St Augustine made it UP…following Plato and pagan Greek traditions of course! But he DID overemphasize the concept about 350% more than his nearest competitors… very Fundamental-like with an advertised accuracy rating of 99.99%) Right, well, he’s poofed then for sure. Or is God ok with a little competition? Did He want to share the front cover of His OWN book with King Jimmy… AND real estate on every Fundamentalist sign till Kingdom Come? (Hmm, I thought they woulda included Jesus in there somewhere, but… maybe we just waive the British flag and call it good?)

I never really noticed before that King J (the English crown) gets free advertising on the cover of EVERY good fundamentalist Bible… got me thinkin…🤨 Why would they need to hold the ‘ruling’ position when we made King J our spiritual ‘head’ before conquest even STARTED here in the Americas? And we fundamentalists have been purchasing his advertising since 1611 without a backward glance. Well, it WAS the newest hit, and promoted as the most faithful and scholarly translation to date—not to mention the most accessible. Wow, lucky for the crown, it was available EVERYWHERE… fairly inexpensively! The best propaganda is the one the people fund with their own pocketbook.😉